En poursuivant votre navigation sur ce site, vous acceptez l'utilisation de cookies. Ces derniers assurent le bon fonctionnement de nos services. En savoir plus.


Post-trauma shock

After a whole day thinking about all pros and cons of the situation, all the possibilities I will have from now on, I am desperately trying to put everything into perspective.

I was right since the age of 6. That very day I realised I was different. I had pinpointed "classic" autistic disorder on the autism spectrum and Asperger syndrom - yes, both of them - four years ago. I never really wanted to talk about it because it doesn't exist "in the books". I already couldn't get any attention toward the need I had to have any of them diagnosed.

I often thought I was just out of tracks and surely I was wrong because so many people told me so.

And then, after all these years, with no hesitation, both psychiatrists tell me that I was right. I am a hybrid they say... nothing found in the books.

Next day, I felt like I have been under a huge rock all my life, heavily weighing on my chest, crying for help, and people and professional passing by and saying; "ain't got nothing wrong..."

The psychiatrists removed the weight from my chest on Wednesday, but I still feel the pain and I have trouble to deal with the changing situation. I am confused, lost, still have pain, way less but still...

I must react. I wrote to my doctor calling for help. She was among the professionals that did not believe I could have the Asperger syndrom. But last year, she gave me a reference for exams regarding autism and Asperger syndrom. She still did not believe I could be on the spectrum, but she thought she had to make sure.

asperger syndrom,aspie,autism,high level autism

These are two scans of brains. The left one is Temple Grandin's, the right one is a neurotypical's brain.

(Temple Grandin is a famous Aspie. A neurotypical person is a so called "normal" person).

That is exactly how I can describe what's going on with me when over exposed to human interactions. Too many stimulations caused by human interactions. My mind just blow a fuse if the situation lasts for too long.

I have made a huge data collection and analysis over the years, and now that I am officially authorized to say that I am on the spectrum, I feel I have finally been granted the right to use these tools I developed without any shame or restriction.


I am now going to take you into my world... the world of autism.

Les commentaires sont fermés.